In the swing
Published : May 2007
Golf is a well-established way of making friends, and developing networks, but what if you want to do something really special? Golf aficionado Ruari McCallion has some ideas
While pretty much everyone in the favoured half of my address book enjoys a round of golf, from a business point of view arranging a day’s play is getting to be more of a challenge. An exotic location, maybe, or a special player, or something a bit out of the ordinary, something that can give your guests – or you – serious bragging rights may add that special element to tempt people away from their desks. Compiling this list has been something of a labour of love, despite the news from the editor that the expenses budget wouldn’t run to checking out Augusta or Pebble Beach. In the absence of any means of personal endorsement, those two have to be, reluctantly, excluded from the list. As for the rest – if there isn’t something tempting somewhere, then either life is just too, too jaded, or you don’t like golf.
Albatross
Breakfast in London, LearJet to Turnberry for a morning’s lesson with a leading Tour professional. After lunch, the opportunity to stage your own ‘Duel in the Sun’, over the same track on which Jack Nicklaus and Tom Watson slugged it out for four days in the golfing equivalent of a heavyweight boxing championship. The pro will accompany you, playing the outward nine holes with one group and the back nine with the other. You need to have five friends because this is on offer to groups of six, and typically costs £2500 each for the return trip. Tailor-make your own legends with www.jeffersons.com; 0870 8508181. For alternatives to Turnberry consider: Le Touquet, a short hop across the Channel and a long-standing retreat for beautiful people; St Jean de Monts, a challenging course set in sand dunes between pines and the Bay of Biscay. If it gets too windy, try hire-by-the-hour land yachting on the enormous beach instead.
Impossible dream 1
Play at the Floridian Golf and Yacht Club in West Palm Beach, Florida is by invitation only to this members-only course – which only has two members: Wayne and Marti Huizenga. He’s the billionaire co-founder of Waste Management, and Blockbuster Entertainment. Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeta-Jones (pictured above) and Jack Welch, formerly of GE Corporation are among the favoured few; Tiger Woods is not, so far. Take time to make friends with Wayne and Marti and you may just be able to get one over the great man.
The Lang Whang
Charity fundraisers have the Three Peaks Challenge; hill walkers ‘bag Munros’ in the Scottish Highlands. What long-term aim have golfers got? How about the Royal Progress? It involves playing every golf course in the British and Channel Isles with the prefix ‘Royal’. From Royal Dornoch, north of Inverness, to Royal St George’s in Kent, I count a total of 33, which should keep you occupied for a while. Port Royal in Southampton doesn’t count but the Royal & Ancient at St Andrews most certainly does. Royal Musselborough, to the east of Edinburgh, is the oldest recorded golf club in the world and is claimed to be where Mary, Queen of Scots, played. Prior to being beheaded, obviously. She’s reported to have had a nice swing and to hit the ball prodigious distances – the Michelle Wie of her day.
Hickory dickory dock
Recreate the era of Booby Jones, Walter Hagen and Harry Vardon by playing with hickory-shafted clubs and irons with real iron clubheads. This year’s World Hickory Open Championship, at Craigielaw Golf Club, runs from 26 to 28 September. Before entering, consider holding a hickory event at your own golf club. Past Masters (www.oldlinksgolf.com) will help with club hire and organisation – and not just in the UK; it stages events in Sweden, the US and other parts of the world, too. Correct period attire is a must, of course!
Impossible dream 2
There are exclusive clubs, and there are really exclusive clubs. If you want a round with (allegedly) the greatest player the world has ever seen, call the North Korean embassy. President Kim Jong-Il (pictured above) picked up a set of clubs in 1994 and is reported to have completed his first-ever round in 34 – an amazing 38 under par – including a world-record FIVE holes in one. This remarkable feat was accomplished at the Pyongyang course, just outside North Korea’s capital city, and there were witnesses: his 17 bodyguards and the club’s resident professional, Park Young Man. If you can book a round, invite the Dear Leader to join you. He may welcome the company: after all, he’s rumoured to be quite lonely and terribly sad. But insist on full handicap allowance, otherwise he’ll cream you. For more information go to www.anyonefortee.com/Shots/Kim.
Urban golf
Using portable mats and hacky-sack balls, create your own golf course at an urban location near you. The Shoreditch Golf Open 2006, played through Shoreditch, attracted a record entry and sponsorship from Jameson’s Whiskey. The rules are simple, straightforward and can be found at www.jamesonurbangolf.co.uk/home. My favourite relates to preferred lies: “My dog ate my homework and I got stuck in the lift.” Broader information about urban golf can be found at www.urbangolf.org and at Shoreditch Golf Club’s home, www.sgcgolf.com.
Gimme
Arrange a charity day at your favourite golf course. Many courses will be very pleased to help and advise with the standard longest drive, nearest the pin, etc, competitions. Consider Dreamflight 2007 as your charity for the day – it arranges trips to Orlando, Florida for seriously and terminally-ill children (www.dreamflight.org).
After midnight (almost)
Durness golf club, Golspie, Sutherland, is the most northerly club on mainland Britain. Drive across the Atlantic Ocean on the par three 9th/18th. Just nine holes but deemed worthy by Peter Allis to be included in his ‘Travels with Allis’ TV series. In June/early July you can play in sunlight well after 10pm, and in gloaming till easily beyond 11pm. Nearby Smoo Caves are worth a visit and the scenery is spectacular. It’s near to where Jeremy Clarkson upset conservationists by driving a Land-Rover Discovery up a mountain.
The world’s best nine in one morning
There are only six holes at Northwick Park’s ‘Majors Course’ but they’re inspired by some of the most challenging holes in the world. The double-green sixth (pictured) recreates the challenges of Augusta’s 12th and 16th holes; the 5th combines Royal Troon’s ‘Postage Stamp’, where Gene Sarazen got a hole-in-one in 1973, when he was… pretty old, and Tiger Woods scored a triple-bogey six in 1997. Play towards the left and you’re enmeshed in Birkdale’s 12th, which Tom Watson thinks is one of the world’s best par threes.
Alternatively, try ‘PowerPlay Golf’ at the same venue. All the course’s nine holes have twin targets. How well you score depends on whether you choose the harder or easier of the two pin positions, as well as skill. Good or bad, get it over with in an hour. www.northwickpark.com, Northwick Park, Watford Road, Harrow HA1 3TZ. 020 8864 2020.
Golf in the raw
The bad news about Colonsay golf course is that it’s members only. The good news is that annual membership costs £20 and there’s no joining fee. If you ask nicely, the locals may arrange a competition for you but be warned: it’s a ‘primitive and challenging natural course’ so they’ll probably win. The island’s just north of Islay and Jura; the whisky shelf in the Isle of Colonsay Hotel is legendary. Take time to sample as many as you can: you might as well, the island is reachable only by three-times-a-week ferry from Oban or Kennacraig. If, on the morning after, you see two balls at your feet, play the one in the better lie.
Eastern promise
The Middle East is golf’s fastest-growing region. Make a weekend of it in Dubai, combining golf at Dubai Creek Golf & Yacht Club, which twice hosted the Dubai Desert Classic; a stay at the world-famous seven-star Burj Al Arab Hotel; and a visit to the Dubai Cup race meeting – the world’s richest – at the end of March.
Coming home
I’d be in big trouble if I didn’t mention Rushmore Golf Club, my home course. Optical illusions on the undulating John Jacobs-designed greens have been known to reduce grown men to tears. When you’ve marred your card with a three-putt on the second (if you’re lucky and greenkeeper Matt hasn’t put the flag at the top of one of the many crowns), there’s a tree in the middle of the third fairway. But at the end of a testing round, you’ll find one of the friendliest clubs in the south of England. Peers of the Realm swap jokes with white van men, doctors mingle with warehouse managers, roofers with retired generals. We have a 15-year-old lad who currently plays off two and looks very promising. The grumpy so-and-so in the corner will be me, cursing yet another raft of missed opportunities.